Life why do you curse me so....

Today at lunch i oractically snapped out im surprised i didnt like hit anyone on my way out.i mean i was really going through it on saturday with my dad n i text the one person who said he'd always be there for me. I'm extremely sad in tears and everything i text him and i get no answer.that was friday, the next day y know saturday my favorite cousint comes to visit me like she normally would on the weekends we have a good time then she goes home to her dads house i text him later on after she leaves still no answer then i text him sunday too AND STILL NOOOO ANSWER! So i'm like ooh...ok i'm guessing his phone's off he's gonna tell me that. Come monday today he comes to me all smiling, happy go lucky niot a care in the world kinda face "hey how's it going" Trying with ounce of my being not to spring up n ring his neck i simply turned my head away and told him im mad at you And usually when id say that he'd be all like "Why are you mad at me!?" But today he just brushed it of and said "Ok" And sat down in his usual spot waaaaaaay on the other side of the lunch table n i noticed on my way into lunch b4 anyone else had gotten there He's precious blonde friend Katie was at the table Giod i cant stand her so really i pissed off the moment i saw her i already knew what was gonna happen he was gonna walk in walk directly past me See her n get all happy like a cat with a pound of cat nip n be all Aww i missed you where have you been n this and that. And it seriously to my inner most fibers pisses me off!! I bet i fell disperatly ill and wasn't in school i bet only like 1 or 2 ppl would notice not counting any of my teachers. My Best friend Cosandra and Maybe Hayfer i bet if i was absent from school no body would really care but im always here n it's hard to miss my obvious face so when im not here you'd notice even though i like never talk. I mean he tells me all the time i want us to b friends and i'll always be there when u need me n stuff like that but when i needed you on friday in tears not knowing what to do at the very edge of the cliff of stress in my life ready to jump you were no where to be found My fantasies and the Men in my head that trully care gor me helped me through it while i slept so that i wouldn't wake up the next day walking around with the thought of Sueside running through my head. i hate it when ppl tell me there be there for me and when i actually do need them there not there to b honest there was only 1 person there for me n he's always been there well for as long as i've known him he's been there when i need'd him. i needed a ride sumwhere for a quick bite if he could take me he would if i needed to get outta the house for a while becuz i was feeling lonely he'd let me come over he's a really cool i know n i'm glad i met him. He's really sweet to me and i apreciate it and everything he's done for me. If there's anybody i can say has been a true friend to me it would b Bear :3 I love you buddy. Of all the ppl in my lifei know he is one person i know i can always turn too Has he makes my life alittle more bareable i guess thanks for that.