*looks over* Standing beside myself like this n watching all the things i've done n said roll past me like a ball down a slanted edge makes me feel said...and kind of evil...I feel like i've hurt alot of people....but then when i think back on it...they all hurt me too....
It turns out my Current ex bf Count is Now 11
I started Dating when i was 13 years old when i was still in middle school Heh my smart self blew through 4 bf in the course of a year i guess i was super reckless back then..And when i turned 14 i met my Current Male bestfriend (And i know your reading this so i want you to know i'm sorry and i love you and thanks for everything you've done for me and i hope you'll always be there for me when i need you) a Racist Jerk and a sorta good Friend of mine. (i later learn is kind of a jerk sumtimes too) When i was 15 i dated 2 guys online and i also met the guy of my dreams or soo i thought (i ended up dating #10 for 3 years my 1st 3 years in highschool we were really close then my cracks started to show n they drove him away , i tried to help us get back together but he kept telling me he'd changed and he wasn't the same loving,sweet guy he was when i 1st met him n the more a hung around him after we broke up i noticed it more and more and i secretly started to hate him but i couldn't shake my feelings for him not for a moment even while he was dating suome else after we broke up i kept telling myself he'll come back for me because we shared sumthing unbreakable n True our love for eachother so i kept waiting and waiting getting sadder and sadder as the months rolled by when i'd see him smile i'd think he was smiling just and only for me and i got soo lonely ) Then #11 Came along he made me feel special he'd spoil me make me feel like a queen n i enjoyed the feeling but i didn't want too forever because then i'd feel as if i'd let the fact that he did all those things for be the only reason i was with him and i'm not a user so i left and it turned out that he did wanna do more then just spoil me he wanted to be knight, my king my everything n i liked that abut him but i had a hole in my heart so i couldn't return his feelings he kept pursuing me afterwards he really really cared for me i had found sumeone that would chase after me but....i still couldn't do it...So i after we broke off we stayed friends i wouldn't want us 2 grow to hate eachother like much of my other Ex's but i don't refer to him as my ex he's grown to me beyond that title he's my friend (And i know your reading too cuz i told you too n i want u 2 know i love you 2 and thanks for everything and i hope you'll keep looking after me) After him i've had time to myself and i've been thinking about what it would b like if i saw any of my other ex's again what would we talk about would they even recognize me? Heh..who knows i guess it's better they forget my face and i fade to the back of their simple minds causes me less grief in the long run at least i know that a few of the apples i picked turned out to b good one that i can use for various things through my life and I glad for those apples n i thank them with all my heart. But i think i'm gonna close myself off from the Dating world til maybe next year or 4 years when i make myself Available to the world fully without a care almost *tehee* I do have a plan after all what do i look like another episode of teen mom waiting to happen? Get real ! Anyway it's getting late i should get to bed...Good night my little stars i hope u all shine brightly in your dreams tonight as u dream about your futures and the wonderful things they may have in store for you.
#Feeling Blissful sumwaht *Sigh*
Mar Out~
Good Night everyone~
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