I dunno anymore..

I know I'm the worst ever. I try to make time to write but it just doesn't happen because I get side tracked so damn easily.

So here's a short recap of the most recent events in my life as well as upcoming events.

I'm going to a comi-con or anime convention next weekend with Justy.
Justy got me a paint program and tablet/pen set for my lappytop so I'm gonna try to use those to become a better artist, at the moment they are nothing but serious pains in my fucking ass because of the way they work. But I'll try to get to them for his sake because he was thoughtful enough to purchase them for me, the sweety~<3

I am a roller-coasterof emotions and actions.
I'm distancing myself from 2 people that get on my nerves. It's for the good of everyone.
In the next couple of months I'll probably try to close out n finish 4 devils or make long(not short) stories in between chapters as they pop into my head.
And I write how I want whenever I want because it's my life and I have little control anymore.
my mind is all over the place and I'd rather let it roam and do whatever it wants rather then try to change it.

I'm pretty pissed off atm because that art shit isn't to my liking, everyone's ignoring me and I'M TIRED OF BEING SO NICE ALL THE FUCKING TIME. If I only messaged people when it was convenient for me they'd think something is wrong. "oh what's wrong ?" "what's the matter??" " Are you ok? " NO BITCH I'M NOT OK-- I wanna fucking talk to you and your clearly able to talk but chose to fucking ignore me. Fuck you manthen whenever you do decide to get back to me I'm just suppose to pretend like you didn't fucking ignore me for a whole day even when I knew you fucking checked my messages but didn't decide to fucking say anything?? it's your fucking fault and not my fucking problem I'm gonna do what everyone else does and see if they like it. I'll message you when I feel like I have time.  When I'm doing absolutely fucking nothing when I'm bored out of my shit I'll message you, I'll look at your message, I'll read it , process it and ignore the shit because that's what friends do.  Friend's aren't always there it's a fucking lie. Friends show up when they fucking feel like it. GOOD PEOPLE WITH GOOD HEARTS are always fucking there waiting.....craving....yearning for their time to be fucking useful to those they care about and it always goes unappreciated. So fuck me right? Fuck my feelings, fucking the fact that I've done nothing but try to help you, fuck me for wanting better for you, fuck me for giving my heart to you, FUCK ME for loving you. Because that's what friends do right?





rant over. I'm gonna go fuck my boyfriend or something I have a headache now. I hate people -___-