Well now it's been what 3ish years? And I'm definitely not typing this out because you know in this high-tech technological age that we live in everything can be so easy and hands-free. So I'm doing text to speech lol, it is currently 706 a.m. and I am unemployed because that's stupid job that I had that I had complained about 6 years ago? Is finally reached its end not in a way that was optimal for me but it happened and I'm free from it regardless. I really wish it could have been more so on my terms but it was also my fault that it ended the way it did anyway because despite my darker outlook on life and how people are at their core. I still decided to think that it was a good idea to trust another person with some information and they decided that sharing that information with another person was a good idea and looking back on it it was definitely motivated by some unexplained reason because I was under the impression that this person was fine with me we had never argued or gotten into any sort of like weird little argument or anything of the sort. In fact this person was encouraging me to not be so grouchy and prickly albeit in a playful manner and to be honest I did find myself relaxing around her and I may or may not have chalk that up to that being like a Capricorn chemistry because we did happen to share in astrology sign. And that was my mistake because regardless of the sign she was still just a person and people are not worthy of my trust I cannot trust people outside of my circle but I decided to just say fuck it and why not you know like oh she's never done anything to me she's pretty much just been cool like sure she's not super helpful to me in particular at the job she's kind of being super friendly to everybody but she also doesn't get in my way so you know whatever why not.
THAT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE AND I'M REGRETTING IT I'M REGRETTING IT I'M REGRETTING IT I'M REGRETTING IT I'M REGRETTING IT SO MUCH. I've always known not to trust people that were too friendly because there had to be some sort of ulterior motive but I don't know for the sake of just being a little more personable I guess I decided to let my guard down and trust this person and it inevitably cost me my job it cost me these past 6 years of hard work, it cost me my income it's cost me a lot of things. But I suppose I could also thank this person because without this rug pull I may have just been stuck in this stupid toxic cycle for who knows how much longer it probably could have been another for years and I know it would have been with this weird company for a decade and although I'm still a bit beside myself because I don't have any income currently because that was my only source and now I have nothing at least I had my own regular amount of know-how to you know not spend all my money willy-nilly and leave myself with practically nothing. Despite just going out of town for a weekend to celebrate my 31st birthday by myself and then the very next weekend after returning from said trip going out and partying with friends for the weekend directly after to celebrate with my peeps I still have a decent amount of money in my account to keep me afloat so that way I'm not completely bummed the hell out but it's fine.....
I was never upset about losing the job I'm definitely just upset at the lack of money, because after I got moved from my first location I stopped caring about the job itself because everything I had ever known and been comfortable with had already been like tossed and mixed up anyway like I knew that there wasn't anyone around me that I could trust and even more so after I was moved to my second location it was proven to still be true because I'd moved to a place where I'd known one person that worked at my first location previously and you know they had never done anything to me there rather nice personable blah blah blah and then you know they had gotten in advancement and their their title or whatever they became a manager blah blah I get to their location and now they're acting brand new and I'm like oh okay well you've definitely switched the hell up so I don't trust you anymore either I get close to the cook they seemed cool at first too and then they started switching up I was like all right well you're fucking done too can't trust you either and I just kept my distance from everybody until eventually we got some actual new hires in that damn place and I made the mistake of trusting them they'd been there for like 2 months kept my distance at first cuz I'm just like yeah he probably won't last very long blah blah blah and then they're kind of you know slither in their way up to me not really kissing my ass or anything but just being nice and I'm still a big softy honestly and someone sort of going out of their way to like talk to me and not pester me when I'm working I appreciate so you know and yeah I got fucking bamboozled lol
Long story short it involved and yeah this will be a little bit of whiplash because I should probably be sleeping but I woke up and I'm not going to want to go back to sleep so I'm just going to word vomit as one does when it's way too early in the day morning.
So yeah the whole straw that broke the camel's back was me recording an audio message at work me asking someone for their opinion mostly because I was venting mistake number one I should have just kept it within my circle ran into the peeps about it and you know just water off a duck's back just say f*** it whatever Go on about my day I thought that it would have been safe to confide in this person who was from what I thought was trying to be friends with me and of course they use that as cannon fodder to stab me in the back. so during said recording I was pretty much talked to and rather hostile manner by someone in a higher spot than me within this dumbass company and normally I would have been a little more prickly about defending myself in this situation but I was mostly just exhausted and just wondering why I even needed to do this to begin with so I'm just asking questions and they're not really answering my questions they're just speaking to me in a very my way or the highway type of like fashion and while they don't use any profanity their tone is extremely hostile and anyone else listening to this recording it wouldn't sound very good for them honestly because you don't have to make yourself sound bad just by using profanity your tone alone can be enough to make you seem like an asshole.
So they told me I have to go to another location and I'm like and this happened the day I got back after my weekend that I was celebrating my birthday we just gotten back from Christmas break that Monday I had taken the first two days after Christmas break off way back in November I put those days in because obviously I know when my birthday is and I'm not working on my birthday My birthday was on a Monday so I had called out for my birthday and the day after in November put them in they were approved blah blah blah she didn't mention anything about the days I called out but I'm guessing that she wasn't in office earlier in the week and she thought that I just been there all week already and she's like oh I need you to go to this location and I'm like this is my first day back like I wasn't here yesterday or Monday so like what's going on like why do you want me to go to this other location and we just had a bunch of people call out and our manager here is in and out of work because she freaking bonked herself on the head and has a concussion so she'll be here for maybe 2 hours and then all of a sudden she's having a faintness bout and she'll need to go home which I'm pretty sure is bad because why are you driving if you have a concussion and you're feeling faint? But at that point I feel like you're making it up because anybody who's feeling faint enough to where they can't perform their job duties and they need to go home why the f*** are you trying to force yourself to drive? Like are you trying to end your own life or the life of others because that doesn't seem very safe? But you know what the hell do I know I've never had an actual real and I've been in the hospital for 3-5 days type of concussion I've gotten a very light concussion in the past before but it was never to that severity I suppose so whatever.
Fast forward to that Friday because I talked to this person that Wednesday and they're like well let me know blah blah blah and I was like well I'm definitely taking my time to think about it because at that point I'm thinking I have a choice on whether or not I can say yes or no so I wait until after my shift is over I'm still clocked in because she said oh come see me before you leave on Friday let me know what you want to do blah blah and you know I can't stop during my shift because there's way too much the f*** to do so I go to her office or whatever she's not in her office she's out in the cafeteria talking to other employees that I guess are new hires or their people that are also being moved to other locations I don't know don't care and out of my business she's talking to them, and you know I'm just standing there waiting I'm still clocked in because I need to talk to you about something work-related and I'm not staying after on my own personal time to talk to you about this so.... I wait for her to make a moment for me because if she would have taken any longer I would have just said f*** it and just not mention it again and just came back to my regular location on Monday because if I came to talk to you about it and you didn't make time to speak with me about it then the answer is no.
Anyway she gets up and she's like yeah come on come on come talk to me blah blah so she goes her office to get some papers for these other chicks or whatever and I bring it up and she's like I really wish that you wouldn't have waited until the end of the week to get back to me on this and in my head I'm like well you wanted me to give you an answer right away The answer that I would have given you immediately would have been f****** no you wanted me to think about it and so I took two full days to think about it even if it's temporary my location needs me so why would I be why would I willingly want to go somewhere else and she's like well at this point you don't have a choice you you're going to this other location and in my head I'm like bro what the f*** do you mean I don't have a choice I'm like I don't have the I don't have the extra money to be going somewhere this further the f*** away like are you not aware that I like I know you know that I don't drive and despite that I can still get to work regardless on time but why why are you trying to force me to pay more out of pocket to get to a location that I don't belong at the supposedly quote unquote needs help and she's like well she just shrugs doesn't really say too much about it it's just like well that's just too damn bad You're going there and that's that and I'm pretty taken aback by it cuz I'm just like so why did you even try to pose this as a question if you were just going to force me to go there anyway like what was the point. And she's like well I don't really know what to tell you they need help over there and you're you're just going over there point blank. And at this point I'm kind of just I'm speechless because I'm like so what the f*** was you bringing this up to me on Wednesday even for and I'm trying to ask for more specifics like what you said that I'd be over there just work just helping for a month or whatever so am I only going to be there for 30 days because that's not something I can support long-term she's like well nothing's written in stone nothing's ever written in stone and hey you might like it there and blah blah blah and this that in the third and I'm just like I'm definitely not because that's not my location why are you trying to just randomly send me all over the place like I don't feel like moving locations again like if it has something to do with some sort of internal conflict I've only been back after Christmas vacation at this point for 3 days came back on Wednesday work Thursday worked Friday we're having this conversation on a Friday I wasn't there on Monday I wasn't there on Tuesday I was out. So whatever little weird story they came up with when I wasn't there Monday and Tuesday like I don't know but I'm guessing that there was some sort of discussion that happened while I wasn't there involving me where I couldn't defend myself and everybody just decided to unanimously make a choice because oh we're fully staffed at this location after welcoming into new people but you know it's it's whatever
Go over to this other location it's extremely chill there are and I'm not exaggerating there are people everywhere I've never seen this many people work in the one location before they didn't need help so she just forced me over here for no reason that was the first thing that came to my mind and they already have systems in place it's rather chill which should have which should have been nicer for me but to keep it a bucket stressed me the f*** out because there was already a system in place and it wasn't just a free-for-all for the most part I couldn't really find my footing because there weren't any problems for me to solve and I'm not used to there not being things for me to situate and like fix for the most part I'm so used to trying to fix and keep things afloat within this company that me going to a place where things are already sort of smoothed out and good it threw me the f*** off I didn't really have to do that much while I was there what should have helped me relax and chill but it didn't it was the exact opposite, I was doing pretty much what I was doing at my previous location but ever so slightly different cuz I'm using different containers blah blah blah and I'm like well this isn't so bad I just got to do you know the sheet keep track of my stuff do what I'm doing and you know that's that I'm barely cleaning because they have people for that not doing any dishes because I have people for that I'm literally just doing this one particular task trying to draw it out as long as like physically possible and it's extremely hard because I don't screw around when I'm working like I do my work I get it completed and then I move on to something else but there wasn't really anything else for me to move on to I really only had to do that one particular thing and that was just my tasks for the day and I'm not used to it being so cut and dry without a system that I put in place myself like it it was seriously stressing me out and it shouldn't have That's the dumb part.
And I work there for the week pretty much and then chick I talked to before comes in our Friday it's the end of the day and I hear her somewhere in the kitchen because her voice is unmistakable it's it's very distinct if you've heard it once you could recognize it anywhere and I'm like hmm that's a little weird what is she doing here was she coming to check to see if I actually showed up here? Nah cuz if she wanted to do that she could have just called over she doesn't leave her office unless she absolutely needs to right and already I was already sketched out at the fact that she was physically here because whatever she would have had questions about she would have called over for because the person running this location used to be in her little posse or whatever and I'm guessing that she dropped out because she got tired of dealing with whatever b******* they were doing and decided that she just wanted to be a regular manager at a normal location so I already know that they're still in cahoots with each other but I'm keeping my head down keeping quiet not talking to anybody just doing what she asked me to do and keeping to like a particular corner and just minding my f****** business
So here she comes walking out I'm counting out my stuff it's the end of the day getting ready to do the paperwork so that way I can hand it in and go you know b******* off and do something for like the last 30ish minutes of my shifter whatever and here she comes out hey I need you to come talk to me real quick and blah blah and that's another and I immediately on edge cuz I'm like bro what is there to talk about I haven't talked to anybody in here I haven't been late I came here like you asked me to what the f*** would we have to talk about there's no sort of discussion that we need to have and at first I'm kind of just like maybe she's talking to somebody else let me just stand here for a second finish what I'm writing and then you know I'll go see whatever the f*** she wants and she's not alone mind you she's with two of her little hench men or whatever and I'm like this is extremely familiar because this same sort of scenario happened at my original location when they wanted to have a little sit-down with me to quote on quote mediate how I was communicating with my newly appointed manager at my original location because she came in with some sort of weird attitude never liked me from the start when she was just pointing out all these things that were wrong when she walked through the door but none of these things were wrong or dirty or disgusting prior to her arrival but as soon as she stepped through the door it was probably a pig sty despite the location not failing a health inspection in the past 3 years but to her it was disgusting and they just took that as law but anyway back to the point-
You know I walk over to the table and she say oh you know just just relax take a seat blah blah blah and it's not that I'm nervous but I'm annoyed because I'm being interrupted cuz I was already doing something I'm trying to finish my paperwork so I can chill maybe grab a little something to munch on before I leave and relax so I can go home relax these little extra these little days 2 days we got off coming up and you know just go on about my business she slides her phone over to the table and she puts this paper on the table and I hear the recording that I had sent to that coworker the recording that I had made myself but she's playing it all fast forward or whatever and I kind of just close my eyes and I was like s*** so that's what she's f****** here for okay... So I'm kind of just sitting there bouncing around an idea in my head wondering all right you want to talk about the recording it's not like I'm saying anything bad in the recording I'm literally just asking you questions and you're talking at me not really to me in the recording and more so towards the end you can hear my frustration but obviously I'm not still in the room with her and I'm like yeah it's f*** this s*** whatever and you know I'm on my way out the door and then I stopped the recording now she's like so what's going on with this and I'm just like what about it like he's like why did you record this blah blah blah
I'm just like well I recorded it from a personal records and then one of her little lackies is like piping up real quick because of course she needs to be the center of attention for like 2 seconds if you recorded it for your personal records then why did you send it to another employee and then little ring leaders like puts her hand up like that's enough lackey I can take it from here and then turns back to me with this feigned angry expression or whatever so yeah if it was for your personal records why did you do that why did you record it at all you know I could press charges for you recording me without my consent and blah blah blah blah and I'm just like I kind of shrugged because what do you want me to say about that I told you my reason as to why they're recording exists and ask for the reason that I sent it to another person that's none of your business and just tell me what the f*** you want so you can get out my face and she's like well you broke company policy you broke my trust you broke the company's trust that has nothing to do with the company it has everything to do with you the individual but sure I was definitely just going to believe that because you know that's how you're trying to spin it and she's like well since I can't trust you I'm going to need your ID and your fired effective immediately and I'm just sitting there like oh okay... Because anything at that point there's no real reason to say anything because nothing I say is going to reverse anything it's not going to make the recording disappear it's not going to make her look like less of a dick in the recording it's not going to make me delete the recording it's not going to make me sign anything no non-disclosure agreement no no special printed out paperwork nothing just I don't like that you recorded me it's such a big deal and I'm so upset I'm so hurt that you did this so you're fired okay since we're going on personal feelings for this or whatever
I don't say anything like my eyes don't feel hot I kind of just feel numb at that point and they're all just staring at me waiting for some sort of reaction but I'm just like I'm annoyed cuz I'm just like bro you really interrupting me for this and she's like and don't worry I'll clock you out and I don't say anything still because what is there to say I don't really say anything and take my little beat up ID that I never got updated off my string chain that I had it on put it on the table stand up and they're all still turning and watching me like some f****** what are those statues called weeping angels like they're just standing there watching me like maybe like I feel like they were seriously expecting me to like crash the f*** out and start like destroying s*** or something because of course I'm black I have to make a big deal about everything right but no took it off my ID put it on the table stood up went over to where I was just working at grabbed my papers grabbed my stuff out of my drawer at my register grabbed my personal belongings put my unfinished papers and what's her name's office went to my locker put my stuff in my locker didn't see anything to anybody on my way out the door and I left and I'm like well I have personal belongings at my previous school so I need to go get those too I was going to get those at the end of the day regardless because I had a weird feeling in the base of my spine that whole week that something weird was going to happen and obviously it rang true so you know I kind of just walked over there it took me like 30 f****** minutes
I get to my previous school and one of the lackies answers the door or whatever and she's looking at me like what the hell are you doing here, and I'm like looking at her like you know why the hell I'm here why are you even asking me that I didn't come here for no reason to try and beg for my job back I need my stuff out my locker and she kind of looks behind her for a second like like she's trying to find somebody to tell her no don't let her until the building you can't withhold my personal property so either you take everything out that locker and bring it to me at the door since I'm no longer authorized to be within the building because I no longer work for the company and or you let me in I grab my s*** and I leave so she kind of like size and she's like okay whatever fine come on so I go to the locker room open my locker and get my stuff out my locker and of course she's standing just outside the door where her arms crossed watching me like all right?? What the f*** are you standing behind me watching me for are you still waiting for some sort of reaction like bro I had my whole grapes and rant situation on the walk over here I am completely numb to this f****** place I would not care of any of y'all got hit by a car if somebody popped you all tires if you weren't able to get home tonight or whatever the f*** I literally would not f****** care I don't give a s*** about this company anymore I don't give a s*** about any of you as individuals You're literally less than dirt beneath my f****** shoe even more so than you were already because the way you went about this but it was definitely a flaw a trap of my own design did ended up just snapping on me so you know it was my own fault at the end of the day and sure there may have been a way for this to have been maybe not rectified but for this situation to have been handled differently but I know that any sort of avenue to keep me on was never going to be considered because I've been public enemy number one for the past 4 years anyway because I refuse to fit into this mold that they were constantly trying to force me into and I never had any sort of problem I've never had any sort of large problem with my work getting done My work was always my crowning achievement they could never say that I never did my work or that my work was not good
Because if I was able to run a unit effectively by myself without having to call on any of them and then coming to another location and practically holding it down as well because the manager is neglectful not very helpful doesn't do very much at all and most of the other employees are incompetent and or they just don't do all that much I always went above and beyond constantly supporting the manager despite the way she treats me helping to cook despite how lazy and incompetent she was even though you quote unquote wanted me to learn from her which didn't make f****** sense but you know whatever you could never say that my work wasn't good and any sort of issues they ever had was literally them nitpicking over extremely small petty things but you know it's it's whatever it doesn't matter... The situation is kaput is done and over with it's been maybe a week and 2 days or technically 3 days now because my last day with that company was on the 15th was a Thursday it was right before Martin Luther King Jr day which I find even more crazy actually
But you know what's even like weirder to be honest when I'm think when I was thinking about it at first this issue this this world shattering revelation that she came up with it wasn't so urgent that she had to bring it up at the beginning of the week of me being at this new location she brought it up at the very end of the week after she had gotten a week's worth of work out of me maybe that was her way of being being nice maybe? Maybe she thought she was being gracious cuz she definitely had to had to try and flap her cape and try to paint herself as as some as some savior oh I feel like I've always been more than fair with you and and blah blah blah and I can't believe you'd betray my trust and that's done a third you know I don't like I was besmirching your name online or talking s*** about you I didn't say anything of a sort I was expressing my displeasure with the fact that you were forcing me to go somewhere I didn't want to go which as an American citizen regardless of whether I recorded you without your consent or not I'm perfectly legally allowed to do I can complain about whatever the f*** I want with whoever the f*** I want whether I'm using a recording or not and the only reason that you're upset about this is because it makes you look bad. And you had all week to stew on these feelings about this recording but you decided that you didn't want to handle it immediately on Monday you wanted to wait until the end of the week and then you want to spring it on me- you didn't have the balls to come to me right after you found out you didn't give me a phone call you didn't you didn't give me an email like you didn't say anything to me you were radio silent until the end of the day on Thursday then you decided you wanted to play you know big men on campus and you know you going to throw your weight around come in here and try to make a big spectacle of letting me go at the end of the day like you're doing me a favor like okay??? It's completely fine like I hated being here anyway and the only real I can't think of the word The only real thing I will miss is my work husband RC cola and my one younger co-worker she was pretty fun and you know like she she herself was a character and honestly I feel like I don't know I feel like she was the only actual real person in there and she was even younger than me like she was the actual youngest and our unit and I was like second youngest because I'm in my early thirties but she literally just turned 19 and she was like a student worker at first or whatever when I first got to that location like she was in her last year at high school working through their little program or whatever
You still text me sometimes but I'm kind of just over it for the most part but I'll still text her back, it's I don't know I'm not salty about it because I would never work for a company like that ever the f*** again and the fact that you allow your higher ups to bully your employees, and or that you let people get away with all of this lazy backstabbing type attitudes but you still and everybody to play and be super nice and and welcoming and hand holding and ass kissy and all this other stuff like but you want to you want to have some sort of special feelings about someone who doesn't want to participate in any of that. You're offended and upset that someone doesn't want to act the way everyone else is acting that they just want to be left alone to get their work done that they don't want a socialize they don't want a Kiki and haha with everybody else around them they just want to get their work done and go home they're treating it strictly as a job that that offends you so much that bothers you so much that you have to make up reasons to start little petty arguments to pull them into the office to try and knock them down a peg by talking about their personality or tell them that they're too mean or that they're to this or that they're to that and you just expect them to you know snap like a rubber band to what it is that you want them to do, that's not how that works at all you should never feel entitled enough to how another person works to try and demand that they act a certain way. Now if I was being outwardly hostile and rude and I'm just drawing company property and you know like I'm berating my coworkers and I'm just like practically being borderline a criminal at work That's completely fine at that point yes absolutely get me the f*** out of there but if I'm just asking to be left alone and that I'm ignoring you when you're trying to make small talk with me and you're taking that as me being hostile so you decide that you want to try and go out of your way to make things more difficult for me it just it just comes off as weird at the very least it just comes off as f****** weird but uhh
That's been my most recent event, I've been applying to a couple of places and I'm trying my utmost to not be too picky and I'm also trying to not do anything else that's food related because I'm just not interested in food anymore this company is completely made me lose my spark for enjoying cooking and I would really honestly just rather stay the hell away from it. And if for whatever reason I ever see any of these people that I used to work with knowing what I know now that after I had gotten moved my younger coworker I'd asked her like a million and one questions I was like that anybody even say anything or did anybody ask why I wasn't there blah blah blah I was told that one person was given a reason as to why I was no longer there and it was quote-unquote because of my attitude and I'm not sure how I could have an attitude when I don't talk to anyone I don't really socialize and because I don't really socialize that means I have an attitude? I would I was under the impression that having an attitude would mean that you're being outwardly rude and mean to the people around you but if you're not communicating at all how does that come off as having an attitude? You know what I mean like that kind of strikes me as odd but sure that's the only real reason they could give and apparently none of these so-called people I work with no one said anything to defend me or try to stick up for me at all everybody apparently just stayed quiet and just went on about their day so if I see any of them out in reality once everything goes back to being more stable not only am I not acknowledging you at all but I will legitimately be hostile towards you because why the f*** do you think it's okay to talk to me after you turned your back on me at work and sure you don't owe me anything because we are effectively strangers we're just people that worked in the same location or whatever for the same company blah blah blah you know me anything but at the same time everybody knows what my work ethic was like everyone knows how reliable I was for this undeserving company everybody knows how I was at my core how I am as a person and the fact that you couldn't even say two words to try to defend my character says a lot more about you all than it does about me so don't even attempt to try and be all buddy buddy and friendly with me if you see me outside of work or outside of your job because it's no longer mine because there is nothing at all for us to talk about when I look at you I would only see that you are someone that turn their back on me when you could have said something that may have that may have maybe swayed somebody's judgment to get me back in my location but you had decided that you wanted to turn your back on me and not even not even attempt to defend me at all but then if I were there you'd want to you'd want to try and chit chat with me and pretend to be cool and everything else though but when it comes to actually doing something that would be a little more worthwhile that possibly could have helped me you just clammed the hell up....
So it's whatever I've been applying to some places it's currently Monday like I said earlier it's practically 8:00 now 8:00 a.m. and I think I'm going to go make some waffles or something I need to wash my face so I might even have to shovel a little bit of snow later or something cuz it snowed a decent amount but I don't think we have any salt so yeah I'm going to have to maybe just go grab some things and stuff later but I'll think about that one time comes I need some food
Might come back to fill this in later on some other things some other not so recent events maybe maybe just more feelings in general outside of this whole work situation cuz the more I dwell on it the more annoyed I get so I'm probably just think and talk about something else later after I have some food so uhhh....... Oh maybe check back in later and I absolutely promise it won't be another like 8 years before I say something else...
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