Hello darkness my old friend.

Hey guys, I am pissed. I just got my new hour for the week and not only do I have very little hours they are extremely inconsistent!!! I HATE inconsistency, it is the bane of everything I live for. I digs consistency, whether it's for things I do, my relationship or even events or other things I'm involved with. Consistency needs to be a thing, and this is my job were talking about !! I just really need to find something more calm that has more an independence feel to it, if I know what my tasks are and I'm given a time to get the shit done I'll be fine if I need any help I'll ask someone. These assholes kick n push everyone around and at the end of the day make them feel like shit and that their work is never good enough and I don't like that. Like you have 2 separate people doing the job of 3 to 5 different people at once and you expect them to jump from end of the store to the other have everyone at the drop of a hat. It's just total bullshit and it irritates the fuck outta me because if those said people decided they didn't wanna come to work that day who the fuck would you have to do that shit? NOBODY!! Their unappreciative bastards and I don't wanna work their anymore. They don't realize that this job pays literal SHIT and that everyone in their staff could just leave their shift and never come back and then you'd be left the manage n work every job in the place on your own. Like c'mon man. The reason I decided to write this was because I'm not at all happy about the hours I got. About 2 weeks ago I put in a change for the hours I could work upon being hired I said I could work any times. After being hired and getting use to working there, This is no longer the case. I know when I wanna be there and when I don't being their for more then 7 hours no matter what I do I leave with a throbbing headache and I doubt that's fucking healthy. For the sake of my goddamn sanity I shouldn't be in that damn place for more then 7 hours, there's too much that goes on and I can't take all that commotion. It's too frustrating and too stressful. And I certainly don't get paid enough to be stressing the fuck out on this job. right about I put this up I'm looking for new things and I'm calling some places back. I know my honey isn't gonna be happy to hear me ranting about this right when he gets up so I'll save it for at least 2 or so before heads out for work. But at the same time he already has a lot on his plate, I'll just rant to you guys for right now. My honey needs a break I'm sure he's had enough of my complaining lately. So the next few times I need to rant I'll just give it to you guys. This place literally sucks and I want out. Anyway I'm gonna go de-stress and I'll catch you guys later *Sigh*

I'm bored guys :P

It's currently 3:45am when I started writing this. I've been up since 10 something this yesterday morning because I had work, I haven't gone to sleep or even napped or anything. I was tired after I got home from work, but I talked to my honey and we chatted for a it he went to sleep. And now I'm just awake watching YouTube videos and thinking to myself. I'll probably window shop on amazon in alittle while or possible go to bed finally after I eat something. I dunno yet. Oh yeaahh! I bought a flat ironing brush from amazon today I've been wanting one for months now. I think it should arrive in about a week or so hopefully. Once It comes it'll be doing a video on my first use of it on my youtube channel, hopefully it does a really good job, I'll be really crushed if it ends up sucking XD Anyways before my writing becomes completely unreadable I'm gonna go watch a few more videos then head to bed, I hope you guys march has been going well :3 See you soon !!

Currently...

Hey guys it's been a little while, I know I know. not a lot has happens but few things have changed.  I am currently kinda mostly sorta close to changing jobs , as soon as I hear back from the place I'll be in there and I'll be making a good bit more of money then I'm making now. Which will make me hella happy because that'll be one step in the right direction toward my new ultimate plan that I have for the moment. Which is move out of my dad's place and hold down a place with my bf. I know it won't be easy it's gonna take a lot of time and a lot of effort. I'm willing to put in the time to make this plan a reality , it's something to work towards. And I always enjoy working toward extremely rewarding goals. I'll just list a few of the many benefits and or spoils I'd be getting from this plan. One of the biggest and most romantic I'd be looking forward to is being able to wake up beside the person I feel really really cares for me and loves me deeply. Which is a really nice and calming thing for me, Were going to be hitting our 8 month anniversary soon. I can hear you now "Oh my god only 8 months you sound like your totally in love!!" That's because I am. I no reason to lie to you guys, I don't think you'd really care, but I don't like to lie unless it's completely necessary. Like right now it's not needed so I'm not going to. I've gotten to know my honey over the past 8 to 9 months and I feel deeply connected with him. Our relationship isn't based on anything physical so it's not like he's pleasing my body and that's why I love him so much. He pleases my insides but in an emotional way. I am a very emotionally attached gal, I let him know from the git go all my disclaimers and he decided he could travel down this path with me. Loving me isn't easy, I'm going to be a pain you may even come to hate me at times and may even completely lose all feelings you have for me. But if you give me time get to know me and my way weird ways and my awkward way of loving I promise it'll last a lifetime and you won't regret it. I know he has an idea of what the final outcome of our relationship , which is living a life with an awesome strong wifey like me *smiles proudly* He's so sweet to me it makes my heart swell with happiness. Anytwades let me get back on topic XD The 2nd spoil to this plan would be growing together even closer as a couple since we'll barely be apart from each other unlike the beginning of our relationship where we were part the entire time. Were in a long distant relationship. It can be hard at times but I think it's going smoothly, the hardest part of this is not being able to share hugs and kisses , plus the fact that either of our internets may want to be a douchebag and stop working in the middle of a skype call causing the connection to act werid and then we wouldn't be able to see each other which sucks. But we make due. 3rd would be being able to organize a living space with my darling. 4th would be being able to cook for each other. I like cooking and I like cooking for other people so yeah. :3 That's about it for right now.



If you guys wanna see any vlogs or stupid videos of mine head over to my youtube channel channel here!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCp7T9DrCw1rvDLYI4wKqX5A

And If your in the mood to read some works of mine head here.

www.bluecreates.blogspot.com



PS. Kind of (?) I forget if I mentioned it but I've started a lemon water challenge and I've slowly started eating more green veggies namely broccoli because it's my favorite it's going well, I'm starting to see and feel small changes but nothing major just yet!!! See you guys later !