So hey it's 2022 now

 I'm not even gonna go into detail about what the hell I've been doing for the past *checks date book* X amount of years I have practically refused to put anything up here despite being in the mood to write but not really knowing where or what to write about.  Over the past 2 days I've been reading over my terribly cringy and dumb fanfictions and original stories I've posted. Being told they were cringe and that the writing was bad definitely hurt my feelings but after reading them myself I have to admit they are seriously cringe and the writing wasn't the best. I chalk that up to me just being a different person at the time, just wanting to create because I could, and no one could stop me or take that freedom away from me. ANYWAYS My birthday passed recently in case anyone remembered, I've gotten an actual good boyfriend I don't think I'll be able to get rid of (for better or for worse), I've gotten a little of my creative juice back despite all the stress I deal with from my job. 

Seeing as this my dairy blog I won't go into much MORE detail about the stories I want to write but I hope whoever happens to find these entries I hope they are able to help you in some kind of way *Crosses fingers* Hopefully positively <3 I'll leave a link to my other fic blog so you can read my cringe for yourself, I hope you find it funny despite how terrible it was and may still be in the future where ever I decide to drag it. 

Stay safe out there make sure to wash your hands and always pee after sex!!! 

Doff. (bluecreates.blogspot.com)

Almost Christmas time part 2

Alright so I had that interview yesterday It went really well I think. According to my friend that put in  a good word for me, I got those papers to start the clearances because I technically got the job and well I start as soon as all those clearances come back I'll be cleared to start there. So with my final days here at this new found Hellhole I bid a fuck you and another fuck you to everyone I've met minus literally 1 single person I've meet while working for this company. I think I know where he lives and I know his wife oddly enough, her daughter went to high school with me. He's been nothing but decent to me and He isn't like the other person I've talked to since I started working here.

I'll maybe give him a card or something. I'm going to get those clearances done over the next 3 days and I guess I can still try to do my job while I'm here but if I get sent home again over some bullshit I'm probably not gonna waste my time coming back. I almost didn't come in today because of that useless prick sending me home early the other day. *Rolls eyes*

This job isn't going to be the death of me I'm all for never coming back here if and whenever they their gonna let me work so...Whatever I'm just gonna chill, get these clearances situated and peace the ever loving fuck outta this dumbass store and away from these dumb ass people.

Surprising short although I've been writing this one all day too
have a good weekend you guys, I know I'm gonna c;

It's almost Christmas time

Hey Guys it's been another hard couple of months, and I know the few of you that still swing by every now and then to read whatever I post might have been wondering what happened to me. Well for starts the toxic ass job I had is now gone and I started at another place that I've been apart of for for just about 5 years now, I'm pretty damn loyal to this company so I figured why not go out on a limb and attempt to work for them. IT WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKES I'VE MADE ALL YEAR!! This place is filled with so many incompetent people be it normal employees or even management. These fools barely know what the hell is going on half the damn time and no one knows how to properly relay information. Or for whatever reason answer a few easy ass questions someone who's been working for the place more then a year should definitely know the answer too.


I'm gonna walk you through my first month being at this place. I was working at a store on a computer for about 6 days a week purely learning systems that now that I'm out of pc training are completely and utterly useless during the normal job. I was "learning" systems about a partner companies systems that I have never seen before outside of those training programs. It was complete waste of my time even if I was getting trained to learn FUCK ALL.  Fast forward to the day I finish my pc training and I go to my assigned store, I have no issues with people who are different  from me but the people in my assigned store (Aside from literally 1 person) are probably some of the worst kinds of people I've ever come in contact with. I thought that my old co-workers are awful people the ones I have no completely take the cake.

Of course being the trooper that I am, I've been sticking it out. Being snapped at and talked down to like I'm nothing more then an animal, being "asked" (More like ordered) to go and get change two stores over because their legs just don't seem to be working in that specific moment. Being strung along and promised things just to be treated different because I'm not like my co-workers. Even the damn customers will be greeted by me alot of the time won't even make eye contact they'll flat out ignore me just to walk over to one of the other chicks. It's pretty annoying but I have a good amount of people I talk to over the phone or the old heads that come in that I take care of  give me the reactions and thanks I deserve for the good service I give them.

It took them the longest time to even get me my system credentials so that I could start making my commission, BECAUSE my job is base pay plus whatever I make for my commission. I've been at my assigned store for a little over the month as of today and last week was my first week WITH my system credentials. I'd been asking for them since I finished my pc training but "You don't everything so that's why they give them to you" then it's  "Ohh it's costs the company money to make your logins so they won't rush to give them too you right away because people have left right after getting them ".  I was given all kinds of excuses as you why I hadn't received these damn numbers so I could make my own commission, meanwhile I was put on the normal work computers using my co-workers logins and access to these systems. I'm using their numbers to run transactions, learn the systems and "practice". I'm handling money that entire time without making anything for myself, I was practically working for them.


I'm handling money, I'm counting money, I'm selling phones, I'm selling internet boxes  AND NOT GETTING CREDIT FOR ANY OF IT!!  And then something happened..I relish in the fact that is event happened and I can't be held responsible or connected to it in anyway.  There was an accident on a wednesday that happened and to keep it brief It was huge fraud scheme that costed 13,000+$. It all started with a phone call which happened to come in a few minutes before my normal break time which was 5:00pm.  Alls I remember is the "store manager" picking up the phone and then everything after that was in spanish. I proceeded to ignore them and head out the door to take my break, when I return everyone is freaking the hell out about getting "Scammed". These fools done western unions some person in Mexico a very large amount of money, what happened afterwards went from everyone (me included) being blamed for what happened (I wasn't even on the premises when this happened and the higher ups have video evidence of this fact) to everyone's gonna to be held responsible when it comes to paying back the lost money. Of course everyone was like fuck that because I didn't have anything to do with that. (I've literally been writing this post on and off all day lol)


Fast forward to late last week everyone whispering around about interviews and whatnot, mind you I'd been applying to places since that whole fiasco started because I'm not for paying for nor being forced to pay for something I had nothing to do with. So tweedle dee started her job yesterday and reported that she'll be leaving because she actually enjoyed it. Tweedle dum (the store manager) is extremely pregnant and well ya know from what I heard she doesn't even need to work so she could quit whenever she felt like it. The other girl is half n half with her She's ok someday and other days she's awful it's a toss up she had some interviews but I trust she'll be on her way out too. As for me since I'm still getting the hang of everything now but most of the people I could ask for help are leaving and I don't wanna be stuck holding the bag, I got the hook up for an interview this Thursday so I'll be leaving as well alls I need from this school is my new start date and I'll be on my way to my new job...

I can't wait to not work through my weekends and to have the day to myself again....I'll be sure to keep you posted everything sorry this was so long Love ya <3

🌸 Happy no longer 2018 🌸

So it's been awhile again huh...I don't think I've ever not posted for an entire year before. See but look I'll give you a brief run down of my 2018 in exchangefor being away so long. I know you'd wanna know what's been going on since my last postings. So I had a really awesome dude back at the time (He was engineer, that's studied abroad in Japan go fucking figure!) Really amazing personality, good cook and adorably affectionate. He ended up taking to my 1st ever Pax convention it was amazing-!! It didn't last unfortunately. I had moved out of my Pop's place for about a full year with a new chick I befriended. Guess what that didn't last either she was a Sag with alot of issues that I'm not going to go into. She had her things and I had mine. I had a small sting of flings that year as well which more mostly mistakes because I thought I was helping myself. >....> No.....no you weren't.
I became completely obsessed with a set of characters from a game called Undertale, it was one of the few things that brought me lots of joy last year that I didn't end up regretting later. I planned a beach trip with friends (haha right...what friends) it almost feel through but I ended up going completely alone. And nearing the end of the year I lowkey gotta job change....well more like Job location change. The only thing that really changed in my work is the amount of stress I endure on the daily and how much I bring home pay day. My pay rate is the same and yet they expect more from me oooh they're sooo so funny. Without thinking  the year over all wasn't that bad there are probably somethings I missed but that's ok....This year isn't shaping up to be too horrible. So far. Just hang in there-!! And thanks for still being here guys ❤

I know I know

Here she goes again with the saying she'll be back and then she disappears for awhile then comes back with more shrubs for us to munch on. Anyways My darling wife's being a bit of a pain again so I'll try to keep it short so I'm not stuck writing in anger for an hour I'll just put a couple of points on what I wanted to say and that'll be it...

• Someone I know that definitely knows better is letting someone walk all over her for the "Sake of love". But I'd say more for appeasement because she's probably afraid that he'll leave her if he doesn't get what he wants.

• She gets upset at me for wanting to stick up for her clearly horribly out of order womanhood or should I say Pride.

• On a side note after hanging out with a friend from Hs I learned when talking about my Hs sweetheart aka my Ex my Capricorn and pettiness show very vividly. I didn't think I've ever heard myself sound so cruel and unmoved by someone else misfortune until today. Should I be amazed or worried XD

This is all for the moment of the negatives darlings, I bet you guys want some good stuffs huh? Here you go <3

• My honey and I will be hanging out within the next 2 weeks and going out to experience an "escape room" for the first time together <3 followed by a couple of other fun activities.

• I have some items coming in for the incoming fall season and whatnot plus I'm planning on trying some new things with my hair so look forward to that..

• I'm also back at the cleaners, but I guess I didn't tell you I ever left. I left the cleaners for a month to try and be at pheea but it didn't work out so well so I went back, I kinda wish I never left lol.

This is al for the moment but I'll be back at some point to fill you in further..Have a guud night honey hons ;3

Hey Guys~ Today's subject- Being Flip Floppy...

Yeah it's been another couple of months and I really think I'm gonna get back into writing here I need to vent and venting to actual people just doesn't seem to do it for me anymore. they don't listen or they just don't understand...but when I vent to you guys you like never say anything but I'm pretty sure you all get it to some degree.

today's topic is being flip floppy. being flip floppy is like doing, acting or being one way and then if a single thing changes your completely different. True story this literally just happened within the last week, Some one I know has started talking to her ex bf her 1st love or whatever right? Right. A couple of months back she had this little fuck buddy that really rubbed me the wrong way, at first she was thinking of jumping into a relo with this dude and was literally not serious just talking out his ass about wanting her to have his kids and being financially secure just a whole load of crock shit that you can tell from the gate that was just straight up bullshit. So things happen between the 2 of them and she finally decides to tell the dude I'm just your fuck buddy this is all this will ever be and it's not getting at any point in time. GOOD she finally realized that was bullshit and saved herself I can quit stressing thank GOD-- so fast forward a couple of months he rex who moved out of state with his current gf yadda yadda yadda things fall apart and boom, they're talking again reconnecting, re-thinking about what happened to their relo why'd they break up, how they can make it work if they try again all that and a plan is proposed if he can come back home on his own I'll let him move back in but only if he can take care of himself.  Ya know I use to know the guy we were friends and I eventually met his gf who's currently a good friend of mine like I love her to death even though she seriously stresses me out sometimes but everyone does so that's not new. ANYWAYS so that a thing-- so fast forward again to yesterday night it's after 10:30 at night me and her run out to target to buy candy land literally that old ass game you played when u were 3 when u were little Candy land. So on the ride home she starts talking about her ex again (the one I know and met her through) She's willing to give it another go, she still has really deep feelings for him he was my first love, I'm not good with my feelings but he makes me feel like I actually understand things he truly made me happy the whole 9. Ok cool I'm cool with the dude we have things in common were both goof balls, if you 2 do get back together I'll actually be able to go on double dates and stuff unless you literally forget I exists just because your bf's back which is horrible as fuck of her to do if she ever does do that, because when I'm an hr away I still think of other ppl besides my darling bf and potential husband. Like I'll be cuddling with him, we'll be doing something and I'll usually take like 2 secs to text her and be like hey best friend how are you just check up on you you better not be dead when I come home love you bye or I'll tell her about something stupid or funny he just did. but yeah I take time to communicate even when I'm with my significant other. but when she's with other ppl I don't hear from her til she gets back and not like she doesn't have her phone it's always in her damn hand, half the time she doesn't even hear what I say because she's texting someone. BUT AGAIN ANYWAYS

back to her little fuck buddy yeah--? after being told he nothing but dick he kinda starts contacting her less n less and calls her today at 10am on a fucking Saturday and he hasn't talked to her all week and suddenly decides to call her out of the goddamn blue and they've been on the phone since then even still now.....this....fucking chick man is flip floppy as hell....She was literally swooning over the fact that her n her ex HER FIRST LOVE will most likely being back together and as soon as this dude calls she's like all giggly and acting all cutesy and I'm hearing I love you's and shit...LIKE WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LIKE THAT!!?


like literally 2 days ago she coulda hooked with someone that was literally coming onto her but she turned them down because she'd rather it be her ex...well that asswipe on the phone certainly isn't your fucking ex either but your spoutin' off nonsence like your having an allergy attack-- I can't express how angry ppl that flip flop make me..I know I can't do shit about it but it's still frustrating as hell to hear that shit when I know what's on in the backround.....behind those closed doors and it's not ok....it pisses me off and it's wrong. but anyway that's enough on the subject of being flip floppy...my very next update will be a bit less angry and more chipper so look forward to it <3

See you guys later~

I dunno anymore..

I know I'm the worst ever. I try to make time to write but it just doesn't happen because I get side tracked so damn easily.

So here's a short recap of the most recent events in my life as well as upcoming events.

I'm going to a comi-con or anime convention next weekend with Justy.
Justy got me a paint program and tablet/pen set for my lappytop so I'm gonna try to use those to become a better artist, at the moment they are nothing but serious pains in my fucking ass because of the way they work. But I'll try to get to them for his sake because he was thoughtful enough to purchase them for me, the sweety~<3

I am a roller-coasterof emotions and actions.
I'm distancing myself from 2 people that get on my nerves. It's for the good of everyone.
In the next couple of months I'll probably try to close out n finish 4 devils or make long(not short) stories in between chapters as they pop into my head.
And I write how I want whenever I want because it's my life and I have little control anymore.
my mind is all over the place and I'd rather let it roam and do whatever it wants rather then try to change it.

I'm pretty pissed off atm because that art shit isn't to my liking, everyone's ignoring me and I'M TIRED OF BEING SO NICE ALL THE FUCKING TIME. If I only messaged people when it was convenient for me they'd think something is wrong. "oh what's wrong ?" "what's the matter??" " Are you ok? " NO BITCH I'M NOT OK-- I wanna fucking talk to you and your clearly able to talk but chose to fucking ignore me. Fuck you manthen whenever you do decide to get back to me I'm just suppose to pretend like you didn't fucking ignore me for a whole day even when I knew you fucking checked my messages but didn't decide to fucking say anything?? it's your fucking fault and not my fucking problem I'm gonna do what everyone else does and see if they like it. I'll message you when I feel like I have time.  When I'm doing absolutely fucking nothing when I'm bored out of my shit I'll message you, I'll look at your message, I'll read it , process it and ignore the shit because that's what friends do.  Friend's aren't always there it's a fucking lie. Friends show up when they fucking feel like it. GOOD PEOPLE WITH GOOD HEARTS are always fucking there waiting.....craving....yearning for their time to be fucking useful to those they care about and it always goes unappreciated. So fuck me right? Fuck my feelings, fucking the fact that I've done nothing but try to help you, fuck me for wanting better for you, fuck me for giving my heart to you, FUCK ME for loving you. Because that's what friends do right?





rant over. I'm gonna go fuck my boyfriend or something I have a headache now. I hate people -___-