I know I know

Here she goes again with the saying she'll be back and then she disappears for awhile then comes back with more shrubs for us to munch on. Anyways My darling wife's being a bit of a pain again so I'll try to keep it short so I'm not stuck writing in anger for an hour I'll just put a couple of points on what I wanted to say and that'll be it...

• Someone I know that definitely knows better is letting someone walk all over her for the "Sake of love". But I'd say more for appeasement because she's probably afraid that he'll leave her if he doesn't get what he wants.

• She gets upset at me for wanting to stick up for her clearly horribly out of order womanhood or should I say Pride.

• On a side note after hanging out with a friend from Hs I learned when talking about my Hs sweetheart aka my Ex my Capricorn and pettiness show very vividly. I didn't think I've ever heard myself sound so cruel and unmoved by someone else misfortune until today. Should I be amazed or worried XD

This is all for the moment of the negatives darlings, I bet you guys want some good stuffs huh? Here you go <3

• My honey and I will be hanging out within the next 2 weeks and going out to experience an "escape room" for the first time together <3 followed by a couple of other fun activities.

• I have some items coming in for the incoming fall season and whatnot plus I'm planning on trying some new things with my hair so look forward to that..

• I'm also back at the cleaners, but I guess I didn't tell you I ever left. I left the cleaners for a month to try and be at pheea but it didn't work out so well so I went back, I kinda wish I never left lol.

This is al for the moment but I'll be back at some point to fill you in further..Have a guud night honey hons ;3

Hey Guys~ Today's subject- Being Flip Floppy...

Yeah it's been another couple of months and I really think I'm gonna get back into writing here I need to vent and venting to actual people just doesn't seem to do it for me anymore. they don't listen or they just don't understand...but when I vent to you guys you like never say anything but I'm pretty sure you all get it to some degree.

today's topic is being flip floppy. being flip floppy is like doing, acting or being one way and then if a single thing changes your completely different. True story this literally just happened within the last week, Some one I know has started talking to her ex bf her 1st love or whatever right? Right. A couple of months back she had this little fuck buddy that really rubbed me the wrong way, at first she was thinking of jumping into a relo with this dude and was literally not serious just talking out his ass about wanting her to have his kids and being financially secure just a whole load of crock shit that you can tell from the gate that was just straight up bullshit. So things happen between the 2 of them and she finally decides to tell the dude I'm just your fuck buddy this is all this will ever be and it's not getting at any point in time. GOOD she finally realized that was bullshit and saved herself I can quit stressing thank GOD-- so fast forward a couple of months he rex who moved out of state with his current gf yadda yadda yadda things fall apart and boom, they're talking again reconnecting, re-thinking about what happened to their relo why'd they break up, how they can make it work if they try again all that and a plan is proposed if he can come back home on his own I'll let him move back in but only if he can take care of himself.  Ya know I use to know the guy we were friends and I eventually met his gf who's currently a good friend of mine like I love her to death even though she seriously stresses me out sometimes but everyone does so that's not new. ANYWAYS so that a thing-- so fast forward again to yesterday night it's after 10:30 at night me and her run out to target to buy candy land literally that old ass game you played when u were 3 when u were little Candy land. So on the ride home she starts talking about her ex again (the one I know and met her through) She's willing to give it another go, she still has really deep feelings for him he was my first love, I'm not good with my feelings but he makes me feel like I actually understand things he truly made me happy the whole 9. Ok cool I'm cool with the dude we have things in common were both goof balls, if you 2 do get back together I'll actually be able to go on double dates and stuff unless you literally forget I exists just because your bf's back which is horrible as fuck of her to do if she ever does do that, because when I'm an hr away I still think of other ppl besides my darling bf and potential husband. Like I'll be cuddling with him, we'll be doing something and I'll usually take like 2 secs to text her and be like hey best friend how are you just check up on you you better not be dead when I come home love you bye or I'll tell her about something stupid or funny he just did. but yeah I take time to communicate even when I'm with my significant other. but when she's with other ppl I don't hear from her til she gets back and not like she doesn't have her phone it's always in her damn hand, half the time she doesn't even hear what I say because she's texting someone. BUT AGAIN ANYWAYS

back to her little fuck buddy yeah--? after being told he nothing but dick he kinda starts contacting her less n less and calls her today at 10am on a fucking Saturday and he hasn't talked to her all week and suddenly decides to call her out of the goddamn blue and they've been on the phone since then even still now.....this....fucking chick man is flip floppy as hell....She was literally swooning over the fact that her n her ex HER FIRST LOVE will most likely being back together and as soon as this dude calls she's like all giggly and acting all cutesy and I'm hearing I love you's and shit...LIKE WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LIKE THAT!!?


like literally 2 days ago she coulda hooked with someone that was literally coming onto her but she turned them down because she'd rather it be her ex...well that asswipe on the phone certainly isn't your fucking ex either but your spoutin' off nonsence like your having an allergy attack-- I can't express how angry ppl that flip flop make me..I know I can't do shit about it but it's still frustrating as hell to hear that shit when I know what's on in the backround.....behind those closed doors and it's not ok....it pisses me off and it's wrong. but anyway that's enough on the subject of being flip floppy...my very next update will be a bit less angry and more chipper so look forward to it <3

See you guys later~

I dunno anymore..

I know I'm the worst ever. I try to make time to write but it just doesn't happen because I get side tracked so damn easily.

So here's a short recap of the most recent events in my life as well as upcoming events.

I'm going to a comi-con or anime convention next weekend with Justy.
Justy got me a paint program and tablet/pen set for my lappytop so I'm gonna try to use those to become a better artist, at the moment they are nothing but serious pains in my fucking ass because of the way they work. But I'll try to get to them for his sake because he was thoughtful enough to purchase them for me, the sweety~<3

I am a roller-coasterof emotions and actions.
I'm distancing myself from 2 people that get on my nerves. It's for the good of everyone.
In the next couple of months I'll probably try to close out n finish 4 devils or make long(not short) stories in between chapters as they pop into my head.
And I write how I want whenever I want because it's my life and I have little control anymore.
my mind is all over the place and I'd rather let it roam and do whatever it wants rather then try to change it.

I'm pretty pissed off atm because that art shit isn't to my liking, everyone's ignoring me and I'M TIRED OF BEING SO NICE ALL THE FUCKING TIME. If I only messaged people when it was convenient for me they'd think something is wrong. "oh what's wrong ?" "what's the matter??" " Are you ok? " NO BITCH I'M NOT OK-- I wanna fucking talk to you and your clearly able to talk but chose to fucking ignore me. Fuck you manthen whenever you do decide to get back to me I'm just suppose to pretend like you didn't fucking ignore me for a whole day even when I knew you fucking checked my messages but didn't decide to fucking say anything?? it's your fucking fault and not my fucking problem I'm gonna do what everyone else does and see if they like it. I'll message you when I feel like I have time.  When I'm doing absolutely fucking nothing when I'm bored out of my shit I'll message you, I'll look at your message, I'll read it , process it and ignore the shit because that's what friends do.  Friend's aren't always there it's a fucking lie. Friends show up when they fucking feel like it. GOOD PEOPLE WITH GOOD HEARTS are always fucking there waiting.....craving....yearning for their time to be fucking useful to those they care about and it always goes unappreciated. So fuck me right? Fuck my feelings, fucking the fact that I've done nothing but try to help you, fuck me for wanting better for you, fuck me for giving my heart to you, FUCK ME for loving you. Because that's what friends do right?





rant over. I'm gonna go fuck my boyfriend or something I have a headache now. I hate people -___-

Hey Hey c:

Hello everyone it's Thursday I had off today. I went grocery shopping, hung with a friend and she's still here hanging with me were binging some youtube. Scary vids are the best with friends :D Not really much to report today sadly. I won't be able to see Justy this weekend so that makes me alitte sad but next weekend I'll be able to see him so it'll be all better <3 I'll be back when I have fun stuff to report ok?

See you guys later time to eat eat <3

Heyr Heyr

I know the titles weird to start off with but I couldn't think of a nice one to start with so there ya go. I just got up about half an hr ago this is my first Wednesday off in like a month because there was Christmas then new years that went past so we were swamped as hell. But one the bright side I got paid for all that hell I endured the day after my birthday and that check was very chunky so I will happily endure that again if I'm looking forward to a big check like that <3 So here's an update on my life at the moment. Today I have off from work so I'll probably go out to eat before I go to handball, I should be going to capital city mall on Friday with my wifey Jen to spend some in store credits I have for hot topic might get me a dress or something. and this weekend as far as I know I should be going to state college/ Bellefonte to spend the weekend with my hubby in training Justin. I love spending time with him, he's a really nice dude. I hope we get even closer as the year rolls out. uhhh and I have wok the rest of this week after today which is fine, I kinda just want it to be a chill week though.




on a side note I've noticed my patience has gone down even more, which means I gotta cut out even more stressful shit which is totally fine but like dang...I really think I'm gonna be a bitter old later almost everything makes me mad instantly. My co-worker holding me up at work because she wants o talk on the phone- pissed. my boss standing around thinking instead of actually doing something even though she claims she's always busy- pissed, someone fucks up my plans pissed, someone flakes on me last minute- pissed, Looking for the juice I bought last night and it's gone Pissed. XD Like everything and anything can just set me off kinda and tank my mood it's crazy. While I'm on the subject of things tanking my mood a certain person who will remain unnamed is officially done. I've already dealt with constant cancellations from this person whenever we make plans and when he does decide he actually can something else "comes up" just in the nick of time and everything's off the table. This person claims they aren't avoiding me and that they want to hang but obviously that isn't the case if everything single fucking time I ask you to hang out you cancel or just straight out don't even show up and then the next day have no explanation. These are the things that make me want to cut people and become  murderer. Just shove a nicely sized knife into their stomach and jab them a couple times with the force of a jack hammer and maybe even kick them around a bit and watch them squirm as they bleed out onto the pavement but I'm a good girl That thought will always be in the back of my mind every single time you disappoint me and piss me off but I'll always think of how bad of a time I'd have in jail if I were to do that to you plus I like having a clean record it's my pride and joy so...Just don't fuck with me and we'll be fine. One of these days I'll say fuck it and you might be the first to receive my knife to the ribs as a curve a circle around your heart and laugh in your face.


PHEW!! Anyways off my yandere rant for now. Back onto something more positive I think I'm gonna go start getting dressed so I can officially start this day, get some food and maybe draw before I head out for handball. You guys know how I get when I'm upset things get violent. So anyways I hope you all have an awesome day and be sure to bundle up it's cold out there, can't wait til it warms up again Sun...I miss you so much <3



Have a good day everyone Love you~<3

Happy New Years!! 2017

Hello everyone I know you all thought I dropped off the face of the earth, I mean I haven't posted anything here in almost 7 months and I serious apologize. I found a decent job with alright pay and a nice working environment. My boss and co-workers are really nice and the work isn't horrible so I've been busy working and having my life fall apart all in the course of a month Nov to be exact. November was the worse month of 2016 for me but it's fine it's over it's in the past.


2017 has begun and it's a semi -fresh start to a huge slew of opportunities and experiences. Speaking of experiences let's talk about my New years eve/ New years :D New years eve a little to 9pm I headed downtown to bourbon street saloon to hang out with potentially 3 people. To keep it kinda short I ended up hanging with 1 person all night long, hanging with an additional 3 a few hours later , then 1 more, had 6 shots and 4 drinks (the last one was a double) , received 4 kisses from 4 men after the count down and spent the night in a hotel room with the guy I met up with first (nothing sexual happened, I'm a good girl remember? Plus this guy was noting short of a completely  ). While still tipsy drunk and in some what of a haze He and I cuddled together and chatted for about 3 hours while listening to a women about 2 rooms over scream her head off. We just chatted the night away until we realized check out was in less then 5 hours so we snuggled in close and went to sleep. Nothing odd at all happened and in exchange for letting me bum it at his hotel room I treated him to breakfast which he was very happy about. After ate it was still pretty early so we decided to go hang at the mall and after that go out to eat again then go see a movie and go our separate ways. We was a total sweetheart and I really enjoyed his company. I can't wait to hang out with him more. I haven't felt this safe begin around someone I barely knew in  a very long time.  It was just something about him that made me feel overwhelmingly calm and safe, I enjoy feeling like that, plus he's built like a truck so that helped. He has a lot of aspects I like in a guy, Politeness, a sense of humor, a calm exterior , a romantic side, a cutesy side, a pinch of innocence, plus he's smart, has traveled and happens to be very very good looking this are all pluses. Not to mention his personality is charming as hell and he's good with his money. I love good habits in a man <3 ANYWAY I'll quit ranting for now. Just wanted to give you guys an update up until present day but I can always update you again later on today or even tomorrow. This year I'm going to be more consistent with my writing starting here on my life blog. I'll do my best to post at least twice if not 3 times a week and maybe just once on my story blog I thought of a new idea that will be perfect to ring in the new year with. I have a few things to go take care of so I'll catch up with you guys later.


Just know my year is off to an incredible start and I'm gonna try to keep the ball rolling so I don't lose this momentum!!


HAPPY NEW YEARS!!